tiling the infinite plane

Assumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make — bombs, for instance, or strawberry shortcake — if you make even the tiniest mistake you can find yourself in terrible trouble.

— Lemony Snicket, The Austere Academy

As I’m sure you know, a good night’s sleep helps you perform well in school, and so if you are a student you should always get a good night’s sleep unless you have come to a good part in your book, and then you should stay up all night and let your schoolwork fall by the wayside, a phrase which means “flunk”.

— Lemony Snicket, The Austere Academy

One may have a thought and not say it. This does not make me insular, it merely separates me from you and that mad woman who’s always shouting at the pigeons outside the supermarket.

— R. Millington

Terrorists have killed 3000 Americans since 1990.

Abortionists have killed 4000 Americans . . .
 . . . since yesterday.

It’s about perspective.

Everyone who voted for slavery was free. Everyone who votes for abortion was born. That’s how oppression works.

— Matt Evans

Really, I'm not out to destroy Microsoft. That will just be a completely unintentional side effect.

— Linus Torvalds

Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet.

— Roger Miller

. . . by a law of nature man is apt to think but lightly of a woman’s crimes, especially if that woman be beautiful, and the crimes committed are for the love of himself.

— from She, by H. Rider Haggard

This will save you thousands of units of your favourite currency in the long run.

— Giles Todd, on not translating BASIC to C

Telling lies

What did you learn in school today,
Dear little boy of mine?
 . . . .
I learned that policemen are my friends.
 . . . .
I learned that our government must be strong.
It's always right and never wrong.
 . . . .
And that's what the teacher said to me.
And that's what I learned in school.

— “What Did You Learn in School Today?”, Tom Paxton